Healing Within the Blur

This dream image plus my journal entry transcription – typos and all – captures a very vivid, energetic connection with a Protector Spirit Power who was shown to me, in the Dream Time in February 17, 1992. I have a couple more equally vivid dreams from this time period, on the theme of acquiring Powers, to add to this one. Coming up.

I am not going into some of the interesting manifest dream details, like a pending wedding, a nuclear explosion somehow connected to my father, my work with coming to consciousness about the fact of his mostly split off rage. Today, I’m just looking at the introduction to the presence of a super power which was invisible to most. In bringing this dream forward today I am in the position to consider scheduling an active imagination session to see if I can get into a direct dialogue with this Protector Spirit. A very interesting idea indeed!

Is it possible such a protector entity actually exist, and if so am I really benefiting from this protection? The feeling I got at the time, and still have, is, I was/am carrying a not me protection. In light of my recent posts about what it takes to be in the presence of exteriorized, embodied Inner Antagonists or, from the dream time perspective, Archetypal Predator energies/constellations, these kind of powers offer variations on the invulnerable to fire power associated with mature King and Queen energies. To be in the presence of fire-storms of affect and not become identified with the emotion allows one to keep conscious enough to experience the fire as a purification, not a consuming, destructive force. I trust I am able to be with very intense stuff. My discovery around having split in the face of the recent challenge, unable to be with my own anger in the moment, is/was evidence of my continued at least episodic reliance on dissociative process. At no time did I consciously feel threatened by the emotional charge in the room. I just wanted and needed to talk about it all directly, and as mental health professional with 50 plus years of clinical experience, I am always sorting through how much can I just be with my process, out loud, when I am not in my consultation office.